


A reason to stay

by Amandjnx



Series: CarolNat One Shots [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awesome Carol Danvers, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I just want them to be happy together, Kinda out of character, Natasha Romanov Feels, Post-The Avengers, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amandjnx/pseuds/Amandjnx
Relationships: Carol Danvers & Natasha Romanov, Carol Danvers/Natasha Romanov
Series: CarolNat One Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1669012
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	A reason to stay

For ninety nine percent of the population, being awake and ready to start the day so early would be torture, but Carol Danvers was part of the one percent. It wasn't even six AM that the blonde was on the street of Washington DC, whistling as she walked to go to her friend and colleague place, Natasha Romanoff.

Since Nick had called her to help the Avengers fight Loki and his army, Carol stayed on Earth and worked for S.H.I.E.L.D. She settled down in DC, an apartment being given to her by the organisation. She was glad that the redhead was often assigned on missions with her, since they met, Carol always had a good feeling around her and she could even say that they were good friends now, if it's being a good friend to bang at someone's door at dawn to wake them up and take them to the gym.

Having spent a lot of time with Natasha, at work and outside, Carol knew the code to enter her building and could surprise the redhead at her door, which made it even better for Carol.

As she stood before Natasha's door, Carol heard noises coming from the inside, from Natasha's apartment and started to worry. She knocked and called the redhead, recognising her voice through the door and, when Natasha didn't open the door, Carol knocked it down with her shoulder.

She found Natasha in the corner of the living room, her gun in hands, pointed at nothing. She seemed terrified, like someone was threatening her and she is trying to talk them down. Her whole body was trembling, her voice cracked and tears were uncontrollably streaming down her cheeks. Carol stepped closer, her hands in the air to show the redhead that she wasn't a threat but it was like she didn't see her, like she couldn't.

Carol quickly realised as Natasha kept talking, in English and Russian, that she sleepwalking in her nightmare.

"Let me go," she begged her interlocutor, slowly lowering her weapon and Carol recognised this strategy, Natasha taught her herself. The idea was to make your opponent believe that you are not hostile and then you can either shoot them when they lower their guard or kill yourself.

These were two ways to escape, but both of them way too dangerous for Carol to let Natasha pick one. She knew you are not supposed to wake a sleepwalker, but in this case she had to intervene before Natasha hurt herself or Carol by accident.

As discreetly as possible, she stepped closer, her hand in direction of Natasha's gun and, with a swift motion, she grasped the gun and took it away for the redhead. Unarmed and thinking she was going to be killed, Natasha collapsed on the ground, her knees up to her chest and her head hidden in her arms.

After unloading the gun and putting on its safety catch, Carol tossed it away and ran to Natasha's side. She kneeled beside her and pulled her against her chest, the redhead struggling at first, still in her nightmare, but as Carol stroked her back and whispered soft words to her ear, Natasha woke up and let the blonde soothe her. She wrapped her weak arms around Carol and held as tight as possible, not letting her go in any case, not that Carol wanted to leave anyway.

They sat there for a dozen of minutes, rocking slightly as Natasha's sob got more and more rare until they stopped. Natasha finally opened her eyes and her sad gaze met Carol's relieved one, "You scared the shit out of me," she said gently, wiping away Natasha's last tears.

"Sorry."

"Hey, no. It's okay. You don't have to apologise for having nightmares. I just wasn't ready for that when I came here," Carol assured, holding Natasha closer for a little while longer before getting up and helping Natasha back on her feet as well.

Natasha looked through the window, it was still dark outside, "Wait! What time is it exactly?"

Carol checked the time on her watch, "quarter past six."

"Carol!" Natasha exclaimed, "What? We said we would work out today, might as well start early!"

"Okay, but I need to eat something before we go. I'm no Kree superhero."

Carol raised her hands in defeat, "Go ahead, we have the whole day."

They started the day at seven with a jogging around the city, stopping at a coffee shop for Carol to take her breakfast of the day, and Natasha her second one. Carol thought about asking the redhead what she was dreaming about, but she was almost sure that she already knew the answer.

Considering how terrified she was and the use of the Russian language, it had to be the Red Room. Carol didn't know much about it, only what Natasha told her, but she knew it marked her for life, and that she would probably never completely heal from all she went through back there.

She didn't ask in the end, not only because she guessed what it was, but also because it would trigger bad memories in Natasha and that was what she wanted to avoid. Carol had one goal in her relationship with Natasha and it was to make her feel comfortable and safe and for now she had been quite good at it. And, with her personal feelings not coming in the way of that, Carol was proud to call herself a good friend for Natasha.

After this little break, they went to S.H.I.E.L.D new headquarters to work out in the gym. They had one short but intense session before lunch and one longer after. Natasha wanted to leave but Carol proposed to spar and she couldn't refuse, she loved a little fight.

But fighting against Carol was like nothing else. She was so strong and skilled, she was one of the only person that could beat Natasha in a fight. And Carol never held her punches against her, she knew Natasha could feel it when she was, and she hated it.

They got back to Natasha's place with just enough time to shower before dinner time.

Natasha went first, leaving Carol alone in the mess she did the night before. A chair fell, the few books in the living room were all over the floor and there was the gun, the cartridge clip and the bullets on the couch. Carol waited until Natasha was out of the shower to ask her where to put it.

"I don't even remember where it was when I went to bed last night," the redhead admitted with guilt in her tone, "It's okay. Where do you put it usually?"

"Locked in this drawer," she said and pointed at the nightstand in her bedroom, "I guess I didn't put it there because the key is where I put it the last time."

"Okay," Carol said softly and went to the bedroom to store the gun.

She came back to the living room and could tell that Natasha was ashamed for what she did in her sleep, her hands on her hips as she stared at the ground.

Carol stepped toward her friend and, with one hand, pulled her closer, "C'mere," she whispered and the redhead let herself fall into her arms.

Natasha wrapped her arms around Carol's shoulders, grasping her shirt as she tucked her face in the hollow of her neck. Carol held her tight, one arm around her waist and her other hand tracing circles on the back of Natasha's neck to calm her.

"It's okay," Carol said again, "I know you've been working hard to overcome all that and I know it will work. You are so strong Natasha, you will get over this, I believe in you. It might take time but the result is worth it," she added and kissed Natasha's temple.

"Can you stay tonight?" Natasha asked with a weak tone, "Of course."

"Okay then go take a shower while I order something, you really smell."

Carol pulled out of the hug with an offended face and Natasha couldn't fight the urge to laugh at her. She still gave her a smile before going to the bathroom.

In the shower, Carol can't stop thinking about the Natasha she met a year and a half ago. She never thought she would hug this woman one day, but once Natasha had a panic attack, the first time she went to Carol's apartment, and it happened naturally. Natasha needed it, the feeling of being safe, and Carol wanted to protect her from her demons.

"We should be delivered in fifteen minutes," Natasha told Carol as she left the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel.

The blonde joined Natasha on the couch and sat beside her, her eyes not leaving the green gaze, "I can see you wanna ask me something."

Carol shook her head slightly, she wanted to ask but shouldn't, "I just… I was wondering if it was… them again?"

Natasha nodded and Carol took her hand to comfort her, "When it's not them it's him," Natasha told her.

By him, Natasha meant Bruce Banner, or rather the Hulk. Back when the two women met, Natasha had a very traumatic experience with the Hulk, who chased her through a failing helicarrier and tried to kill her. She couldn't put the blame on Bruce, he wasn't in control anymore when this happened, but it almost made it worse. Not sure that her punching him in the face as revenge would help the post traumatic stress disorder that she had ever since, but Carol knew the redhead wanted to sometimes, when she felt like shit and needed to get it out.

"I know you'll get over it one day."

Natasha chuckled, "You believe more in me than I do."

"Yet you should," with her free hand, she found a strand of Natasha's red hair that she slipped behind her ear, "you are the strongest person I know, Natasha."

With her hand still on Natasha's cheek, Carol leaned closer, her eyes falling on the other woman's lips, but the doorbell interrupted her. Natasha cleared her throat before going to the door. She came back with their food for the evening, "Wanna go watch something on the bed?" she asked and Carol nodded.

Carol turned on the TV as Natasha settled everything on the bed. She ordered exactly what Carol liked and she couldn't stop herself from smiling as she realised it.

They barely watched the film that was on the screen, too occupied talking about everything and anything to do so. They ended up talking for hours, and only stopped when Natasha noticed it was almost one AM.

She took care of the leftovers while Carol went to borrow a toothbrush.

"Hey Captain," Natasha said, leaning against the door frame of the bathroom, "you want the bed or the couch?"

Carol spit what she had in her mouth before answering, "Can't we both sleep in the bed?"

Natasha walked to Carol's side and picked up her toothbrush, "I don't know Carol. I'm not sure it's safe to sleep in the same bed as me, I don't want to hurt you unconsciously."

"You won't, Nat," Carol assured, rubbing Natasha's back and she nodded in agreement.

Carol went to the bedroom and lied down where the bed wasn't undone from the night before, guessing the other side was Natasha's. The redhead joined her a few minutes later, the apprehension obvious on her features but Carol didn't say anything about it.

Natasha lied on her side and Carol moved closer, "Is it okay if I hold you?" she asked with a soft voice and Natasha nodded to reply.

Carol put her pillow beside Natasha's before resting her head on it, letting a light sigh. Rolling on her side, she loosely wrapped her arm around Natasha's waist, the latter moving closer to have her back pressed against Carol's chest.

It felt normal for Carol to wait until Natasha was asleep to fall asleep as well, just in case the redhead didn't comfortable at some point and needed to talk or anything, but she didn't and fell asleep after about twenty minutes.

Falling asleep never was the problem, the nightmares were, but at least with Carol to calm her, maybe her night could be better than the usual.

But she didn't have to do any of this during the night.

Carol woke up and she was lying on her back with Natasha's head on her chest. She giggled discreetly before checking the time on her phone, it was ten to ten. With her arm around Natasha's shoulders, she stroked her fingers in her red hair to slowly and gently wake her up. It took a few minutes but Natasha finally woke up with a small complaining whine, struggling to open her eyes.

"Good morning sleepy head."

"Hey," Natasha replied with a husky voice.

They stayed in bed for a little while, Carol still playing with Natasha's hair as the redhead stared at her with her chin on Carol's chest.

"What time is it?" she asked, her voice back to normal, "Must be ten by now."

Natasha suddenly sat up, leaning on her arm, "Ten AM?"

"Yeah."

Natasha was completely shocked, "I slept for nine hours straight and had no nightmare at all."

"That's amazing," Carol said joyfully, "I never slept that well in like… forever. Even before the Red Room, I would always wake up in the middle of the night. But with you I didn't," Natasha told before lying back beside Carol, just like they were the minute before.

"You know, if you give me _one_ good reason, I'd totally sleep here whenever you want," Carol said jokingly.

She didn't expect that Natasha would take it seriously though.

Her gaze locked with Carol's, Natasha moved closer, leaned over the blonde and, before she could react, she pressed their lips together. She pulled away quickly but Carol chased her lips and captured them again. Natasha hummed with pleasure as Carol cupped her cheek, pulling her so close that the redhead had to straddle Carol's waist to keep the kiss going. Stroking her thumb on Natasha's cheek, she teased her with her tongue, brushing her bottom lip until the redhead pulled away with a chuckle.

"Is that good enough of a reason for you?" Natasha asked softly, her lips slowly turning into a smile.

Carol nodded, "It is, yes."

Natasha pecked her lips before lying on top of her, "For how long have you been wanting this?"

Carol looked at Natasha with a raised brow, "To kiss you?"

"Mhmm."

She glanced away to think, "It might sound too soon but um… I think since the first day we met."

Her gaze met Natasha's again and she could tell she was holding her laughters, "It's too much, isn't it?"

"Kinda yeah," Natasha replied with a scoff, "but I know it's the truth."

"What about you?" Carol wondered, "Um… I think the second day when you took me aside to make sure I was okay after… you know," after the Hulk almost killed her was what she didn't say, "But then I never dare to do it, even though I could have."

"Yeah, me too," Carol admitted, "but at the time it was just because I thought you were hot. Now there's more than that."

Natasha looked at Carol and smiled, her hands finding Carol's cheeks, she pulled her closer and rubbed her nose with Carol's before kissing her lips.

They spent the rest of the morning making out, alternating between soft pecks to more heated tongue kisses. Carol's hands quickly slipped under Natasha's tank top to explore her body, stroking her back up to her shoulder blades and down on her lower back and ass. They rolled onto the bed, from Carol on her back to their side to Natasha under the blonde, not breaking the kiss for more then a few seconds, and while doing that, they stared into each other's eyes, smiles on their lips.

It was past midday when they decided to get out of bed to eat the rest of the evening before. They went directly back to the bed after that, put on a movie and cuddled.

As the movie reached its end, Natasha lied down, her head on Carol's belly and asked, "You mind if I take a little nap?"

Carol chuckled, Natasha was using her as a cuddly toy and a pillow at the same time, but she was right to do so. The blonde sat up to be more comfortable, she wouldn't be able to move for the next few hours, "I'm really never leaving this bed, am I?" she said with a laugh, "go ahead, Nat. I'm just gonna read or something."

She took the nearest thing she found, a magazine dated 2011, and read it while stroking her fingers in Natasha's hair. Carol finished the magazine about one hour later and Natasha was still deeply asleep. Nothing else was reachable, so Carol just sat there and stared at Natasha's sleepy face, until she dozed off herself.

Carol woke up after an hour and a half of nap and Natasha was still on her belly, lightly snoring. Thirty minutes later, after a three hours nap, Natasha woke up with a start and her eyes wandered all over the room, "Natasha, it's okay, I'm here," Carol said as she pulled the redhead in her arms.

Natasha was breathing fast, as if she just ran a marathon, but being in Carol's arms calmed her quickly, "It was him again," she said, her voice creaking on the word _him._

"It's okay. It's over now," Carol whispered to her ear before kissing her temple, "Come on, we gotta shower."

Carol pulled Natasha out of the bed to the bathroom, helped her undressing before stripping of her own clothes – that she borrowed to Natasha – and they both entered the small shower. After washing herself, Carol massaged Natasha's shoulders and pulled her against her chest, attacking her cheek with kisses. It took a bit of time but Natasha did smile, her hands finding the arm that Carol had around her shoulders, "You know you are a pain in my ass."

"You gave me a reason to stay and take care of you. I'm never leaving now."

"I'm so screwed."

After one last kiss, Carol exited the shower while Natasha washed herself. She wrapped a towel around her chest and went to the kitchen to see what Natasha had in her fridge, "Do you have something edible in there?" she shouted so the redhead would hear her from the bathroom.

"I used to, haven't been to the grocery store in a while.

"I can see that," Carol said to herself, reading the expiry dates on the yoghurt and cheese.

Natasha joined her in the kitchen, fully clothed, "I can go if you want," she offered.

"Okay, just give me a sec to get dressed and we go together."

She took the first shirt and jeans she found in Natasha's closet and put them on, she wouldn't be hugely successful at the fashion week in these but her look was adequate to go out grocery shopping.

They went to the store down the street, walking side by side. Carol's hand eventually brushed Natasha's and she decided to hold it. They intertwined their fingers, Natasha looking at Carol with a smile as she squeezed her hand.

Neither one of them let go of the other's hand inside the store. Carol was carrying the basket while Natasha picked the food she wanted to buy. They didn't get a lot, just a few ready-prepared dishes and fruits, but it was what Natasha had the time to eat the day she was on duty.

Back in the apartment, they shared a container of spaghetti and went straight back to bed.

They cuddled as they talked, Natasha's back pressed against Carol's chest, the blonde tingling the skin of her arm with the tips of her fingers.

Their chatter was casual, they talked about the past, their job, until Natasha asked something that Carol didn't see coming, "Are you in love with me?" she said and turned to face Carol.

At first surprised by the question, Carol let out a breathy laugh, "I mean, I think so."

"How does it feel? To be in love."

It took all Carol had in her not to hug Natasha. This question was so innocent and so adorable, especially for a twenty eight years old woman.

"It's like, when I'm not with you, you are the only thing in my mind, my heart ache because I lack something, because I miss you. And when we are together, whether I feel good or bad, seeing you makes me the happiest person on Earth. I feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be."

Natasha nodded slowly and then locked her gaze with Carol's, "So, I think I'm in love with you."

"Yeah?" Carol said as her smile grew bigger, "yeah," Natasha confirmed before pulling Carol in a soft kiss.

They quickly pulled away and remained like that to sleep, Carol holding Natasha, her face tucked in the crook of Carol's neck.

Natasha woke up alone in bed the next day, but still after a night without nightmares. She panicked for a few seconds, thinking Carol left, but then she heard noises in the kitchen. She got out of bed and followed the sound, finding Carol preparing breakfast, "No, go back there! I'm making you breakfast in bed," she ordered.

The redhead obliged and waited in the bed for a few more minutes. Carol arrived in the bedroom with a tray, two cups of coffee, juice that she did with some of the fruits and the others were chopped and mixed in a bowl with yoghurt.

"Hold that for a minute," she said and gave the tray to Natasha.

Carol sat on the bed, legs spread and patted the bedsheets, "Come sit here."

Natasha joined her in bed, sitting between Carol's legs, her chest used as a back rest and had the tray on her lap. The redhead giggled as Carol kissed her cheek, she had never imagined herself in such situation, but she loved it and didn't want it to stop, ever.

They chattered as they ate, but Carol was in a mood to tease Natasha thus it took them more time than necessary to finish their breakfast.

When Natasha didn't see it coming, Carol took some yoghurt on her finger and put it on the tip of Natasha's nose, the latter glaring at the woman behind her, "Really?" Carol nodded excitingly, "you asked for it."

Natasha sighed, "A pain in the ass, I'm in love with a pain in the ass."

Carol giggled as she wrapped her arms around Natasha's waist, "You'll get used to it," she promised before cleaning Natasha's nose.

As Carol left the bed to clear the tray, Natasha's phone rang. She picked up, it was her boss, Nick Fury.

_" Agent Romanoff, I need you to pick up Captain Danvers and to join me at S.H.I.E.L.D, I have a mission for you. "_

Natasha did her best not to laugh as Carol entered and asked who was on the other side of the call, "Sure, Director Fury, I'm already on my way to pick her up, we'll be there in fifteen minutes," she replied and hang up the call.

She got out of bed and walked towards Carol, "We have to go to work, Captain."

Carol chuckled as she pulled Natasha by her waist, "You know we'll have to tell him at some point."

"Tell him what?" Natasha asked, faking misunderstanding, "That you are my girlfriend?"

Carol's eyes widened, "Oh! So I'm your girlfriend now?"

Natasha nodded, "Oh yes, you are, Captain Danvers."

Cupping Natasha's cheeks, Carol captured her lips and smiled into the kiss, "All right, Agent Romanoff, let's go to work."


End file.
